Quick question threads have been my savior in many games.
So, I've been wooing this girl, but some of the lords/bards said she's got high standards, which I think means she wants me to have a high honour rating. How can I go about increasing it? I'm at -4 right now, so am I completely screwed? Should I go for a less picky lady? I foolishly tried did some spy work and also tried to badmouth one of the other lords, so I think that's how I got so low.
Also, what's the best way to go about starting a war? The Sultan's too peacenik, never starts any wars. Will attacking caravans drop my honour even further?
A way to raise your honor is by looking for villages who are invested by bandits and then refusing a reward, You can also get more honor by not taking a lord prisoner or do other ways to reject a reward when doing something good.
After you raised the honor make sure to have a good relationship with either her brother or father. Then start working on a relationship with her otherwise the dad/brother will get really pissed and won't allow you two to marry. Marrying her anyway thus making them even more pissed will result in some lose of honor.
You can start a war by looking for lords with high controversy those are the "evil" lords who will do anything for money&Power even if it means making war. They are the most likely to give the "Make war" quest. If you randomly start attacking caravans the enemy faction might refuse a war but still tries to hunt you down + The sultan does not approve of you making war.
Finishing the "Make war" quest will increase your relationship with high controversy lords and decreasing your relationship with lords with high honor.
Starting a war and trying to woo a honor wishing lady does not really go hand in hand.
Go for the lady first THEN start a war.