I feel this should be an option in the options menu. Maybe put it in the campaign options. It's a lot of work getting my parties troops the way I want them for my party members to just donate them. It makes me feel like I loose the ability to choose and after all I am the leader right? Maybe a screen pops up and asks you if you want to donate after a siege or visiting a city and if not maybe give a warning about what would happen if you don't donate and let the player decide. I prefer it to be in the campaign options as I don't want any more additional pop ups to occur that I know how I will answer it. I am pretty sure I read a post about the AI lords parties don't donate their troops to player owned fiefs. So the mechanic is obviously just down right broken. I really lost the want to play this game after finding out I cant form my parties how I want and cant command them to do what I want them to do and than realize the PC gets all these perks so I quit the game because of these issues. I truly feel the console has the watered down version.
They are donated to the castle/city and I "lost" them because I can't get them back and I don't want them donated because I am working hard to build my clan. I don't want them donated. This is game breaking to the point once I found this is happening I don't want to play anymore. There is no setting or option that allows me to check a box that says "Do not donate troops" option or I would select this.