I have death disabled for all, it was so random and annoying sometimes. No matter how many times i deafeated the enemy they were like immortal, and sometimes 3 of my lords died in a row in series of 3 sieges against 40 men garrisoned castles because they rushed the ladders first and got bonked by militia peasant with sickle... Like they couldnt wait for their men to do it
Southern empire (The ruler clan, because rest of their faction was on my side already) once tried to besiege one of my castles like that 3 times and at best they had 600 troops, anihilated badly every time. For me its sad view, poor lords running around wasting themselves with no chance of dignity life, because they refusing to join and potentialy gain a fief