Bunduqdari
Sergeant Knight
I don't know if this fits into lore, so here goes.
The Cheese Controversy.
It was the year 759. The young King Iohann sat on his throne in the dining hall. It was already very late and no decision had been reached.
Like the kings of old, he had assembled 3 of his most trusted companions, his Cooks of the Royal Fire-kitchens, his Royal Master Cheese-maker and a representative of every division of his army. More importantly the Elders of the Cheese Protectorate were listening their every word. The Elder of Cheese Elders, Forkbyrd, had started the discussions early in the morning to discuss what Healmarian cheese would become the blessed royal cheese to be served to the royal family in young Iohann's reign.
He had said: "It is due time, that we have this law strictly followed, or great discontent and utter annihilation will follow in our Kingdom. If we choose the wrong cheese, our Majesty's reign will be an unsuccessful one, as proven by the numerous accounts that have been recorded in our history"
The Cooks and the Hackapell division pushed for the Norderennen, some of the other divisions stood strongly behind Jaemtlander and the Royal Master Cheese-maker supported the view that Cheefsoborg would be best for our Majesty and his family.
The Cheese Elders watched silently as the different factions quibbled and awaited the right moment to judge the cheese that would help Haelmar write history or be the cause of its demise.
Elder Sturmgard whispered to Elder Hanssen: "How little do these simpletons know about the true properties of the cheeses they seek to defend."
Elder Hanssen answered: "The idiots indeed seem to be going after their own taste, instead of the well-being of our Kingdom"
Forkbyrd gave the two a stern look as to tell them not to talk at this stage and ruin this ancient ritual custom.
Meanwhile, Iohann sat on his throne watching the whole ordeal while the boring debates made his mind drift towards the memories of his achievements at the battle of Hyrmadon River. How he had charged the enemy with great valor. He wished he could do it again...
Suddenly, he was on the field of battle again. His armor was heavy, the sun was shining but the air was cold. He realized he was in a dream. He was racing on horseback towards the enemy who appeared to be rats. He carried a wheel of cheese under his arm, while he had drawn his sword with his left hand. He yelled out a war-cry. The thousands of rats screamed in agony and went out of the way for him.
He went into the forest and entered a cave. He sliced off every bat from the ceiling with his sword. He followed a light until he came into open space closed off by cliffs. There he saw green grasses growing and blue mosses covering the rocks. A goat was running about the place and stopped to look at the young King when he entered the area. It spoke:
"True cheese for your well-being comes from the milk of my kin, coagulated by the vinegar of wisdom and moss of the noon sky. Be not fooled by the temptations of the Calf's Rennet"
Then it disappeared. Iohann felt hungry and ate the wheel he carried all by himself. It immediately caused flatulence of considerable degree. He felt well-nourished..
"His Majesty!... Excellence!.. please wake up. You cannot miss our talks for ignorance into the ways of the cheese is a vice indeed!" said the Elder of Cheese Elders Forkbyrd. Iohann stared into the dining hall. Everyone was watching him.
"I have an announcement to make" he said. Then he told his dream to his people. They listened with great attention.
He ended by saying: "Then Our cheese must be a cheese of the goat"
The hall erupted with reactions and murmurings like "It is against our laws" and "This is a desecration of our customs"
Cheese Elder Gurbard said: "My Liege, do you now know this is against the ancient writings of the Cheese-Master of Berthe, lord suitineV?"
Iohann remained silent and looked at painting hanging on the hall wall to his right.
A man, in full plate armor wearing an apron, tall, broad-shouldered and fair-haired was rearing his mule while his right hand was lifting a humongous wheel of cheese pierced by his sword. His left hand was arrogantly pointing at himself. His mule appeared scared but faithful.
This was indeed the cheese-master of legend, suitineV. His cheesy guidance made sure Haelmarian armies marched with their bellies full.
Under his painting were his famous words: "I made, I ate, I conquered!"
"Now then", Forkbyrd interrupted. "I will tell the meaning of this dream to his Majesty and everyone, so that this debate will come to an end. That dream, my lord, was not an ordinary one, nor was the cheese you were carrying an ordinary cheese. By this dream you were hinted by his Cheesyness suitineV to be the King to start a new era for Healmar. His writings are for the guidance of every aspiring cheese-maker, not an unchangeable doctrine. Let it be decided that our Royal Cheese will be from this day onward, made from the ingredients of wisdom mentioned in this inspiration of suitineV!"
Thus it was that a new cheese was born and aptly named suitineV's Hyrmadon, to be tasted and enjoyed by the royalty of Haelmar for decades to come. Semi-Hard, sour and slightly bue-ish in color.
Thus it was that Iohann I became the most celebrated of Healmarian kings, by the success that the properties of this fine cheese brought along.
The Cheese Controversy.
It was the year 759. The young King Iohann sat on his throne in the dining hall. It was already very late and no decision had been reached.
Like the kings of old, he had assembled 3 of his most trusted companions, his Cooks of the Royal Fire-kitchens, his Royal Master Cheese-maker and a representative of every division of his army. More importantly the Elders of the Cheese Protectorate were listening their every word. The Elder of Cheese Elders, Forkbyrd, had started the discussions early in the morning to discuss what Healmarian cheese would become the blessed royal cheese to be served to the royal family in young Iohann's reign.
He had said: "It is due time, that we have this law strictly followed, or great discontent and utter annihilation will follow in our Kingdom. If we choose the wrong cheese, our Majesty's reign will be an unsuccessful one, as proven by the numerous accounts that have been recorded in our history"
The Cooks and the Hackapell division pushed for the Norderennen, some of the other divisions stood strongly behind Jaemtlander and the Royal Master Cheese-maker supported the view that Cheefsoborg would be best for our Majesty and his family.
The Cheese Elders watched silently as the different factions quibbled and awaited the right moment to judge the cheese that would help Haelmar write history or be the cause of its demise.
Elder Sturmgard whispered to Elder Hanssen: "How little do these simpletons know about the true properties of the cheeses they seek to defend."
Elder Hanssen answered: "The idiots indeed seem to be going after their own taste, instead of the well-being of our Kingdom"
Forkbyrd gave the two a stern look as to tell them not to talk at this stage and ruin this ancient ritual custom.
Meanwhile, Iohann sat on his throne watching the whole ordeal while the boring debates made his mind drift towards the memories of his achievements at the battle of Hyrmadon River. How he had charged the enemy with great valor. He wished he could do it again...
Suddenly, he was on the field of battle again. His armor was heavy, the sun was shining but the air was cold. He realized he was in a dream. He was racing on horseback towards the enemy who appeared to be rats. He carried a wheel of cheese under his arm, while he had drawn his sword with his left hand. He yelled out a war-cry. The thousands of rats screamed in agony and went out of the way for him.
He went into the forest and entered a cave. He sliced off every bat from the ceiling with his sword. He followed a light until he came into open space closed off by cliffs. There he saw green grasses growing and blue mosses covering the rocks. A goat was running about the place and stopped to look at the young King when he entered the area. It spoke:
"True cheese for your well-being comes from the milk of my kin, coagulated by the vinegar of wisdom and moss of the noon sky. Be not fooled by the temptations of the Calf's Rennet"
Then it disappeared. Iohann felt hungry and ate the wheel he carried all by himself. It immediately caused flatulence of considerable degree. He felt well-nourished..
"His Majesty!... Excellence!.. please wake up. You cannot miss our talks for ignorance into the ways of the cheese is a vice indeed!" said the Elder of Cheese Elders Forkbyrd. Iohann stared into the dining hall. Everyone was watching him.
"I have an announcement to make" he said. Then he told his dream to his people. They listened with great attention.
He ended by saying: "Then Our cheese must be a cheese of the goat"
The hall erupted with reactions and murmurings like "It is against our laws" and "This is a desecration of our customs"
Cheese Elder Gurbard said: "My Liege, do you now know this is against the ancient writings of the Cheese-Master of Berthe, lord suitineV?"
Iohann remained silent and looked at painting hanging on the hall wall to his right.
A man, in full plate armor wearing an apron, tall, broad-shouldered and fair-haired was rearing his mule while his right hand was lifting a humongous wheel of cheese pierced by his sword. His left hand was arrogantly pointing at himself. His mule appeared scared but faithful.
This was indeed the cheese-master of legend, suitineV. His cheesy guidance made sure Haelmarian armies marched with their bellies full.
Under his painting were his famous words: "I made, I ate, I conquered!"
"Now then", Forkbyrd interrupted. "I will tell the meaning of this dream to his Majesty and everyone, so that this debate will come to an end. That dream, my lord, was not an ordinary one, nor was the cheese you were carrying an ordinary cheese. By this dream you were hinted by his Cheesyness suitineV to be the King to start a new era for Healmar. His writings are for the guidance of every aspiring cheese-maker, not an unchangeable doctrine. Let it be decided that our Royal Cheese will be from this day onward, made from the ingredients of wisdom mentioned in this inspiration of suitineV!"
Thus it was that a new cheese was born and aptly named suitineV's Hyrmadon, to be tasted and enjoyed by the royalty of Haelmar for decades to come. Semi-Hard, sour and slightly bue-ish in color.
Thus it was that Iohann I became the most celebrated of Healmarian kings, by the success that the properties of this fine cheese brought along.
END
