Hello my darlings,
What an unusual topic! I am rather anxious that you have a fetish about scoffing food in the lavatory. If it was a female one then I may understand, but becoming aroused in the chap’s lav is rather bad form, especially when one takes into consideration the monstrosities that can be produced there.
The female bogs on the other hand are a different matter, everyone knows that fat birds, old women with saggy tits & feminist lesbians with shaved heads & ‘save the one armed dingo’ t-shirts do mahoosive poo’s & fart like old men. But for the most part, hot, skinny & beautiful girls are exempt from laying logs. (Tho my mate still claims that a ridiculously pretty thing curled one out on his chest!). Take Alizée Jacotey for instance, I utterly refuse to believe that a gorgeous little crumpet like that could squeeze a 14 inch stonker out her delicate ricker.
I remember one time I almost fell victim to this deranged perversity, I was out camping with some WW2 re-enactment type group & there was a nubile 18 year old tart there with black hair & dreamy brown eyes, I was really quite taken with her. The only places for relief were the mobile toilets & I knew she had to go sometime, I had been counting & it had been 3 days!!
So being a respectable pervert I bided my time & one evening I saw her skulking in that area looking slightly nervous, but eventually she went in. After a few moments she abruptly left, I rushed in the vacant loo & stuffed my head as far as possible down the pan & inhaled deeply whilst fapping the old chap furiously.
After this astonishing scientific experiment I can conclude that the prettier the girl, the more colossal the extraction & certainly the more nauseous the atmosphere.
I have the honour remain your most humble & obedient servant,
&c.
~EoR
