Jaeger Banter
A sniper team of one Swadian Feldwebel and a Kaiserlicher Gefreiter banter while going on the hunt.
"Move your ass, Maximilian! We have Fillys to kill!" The Swadian Feldwebel, emerging from a forest, ran to a crag overlooking a Filaharnist camp where he lay prone and took aim at a distant target with his rifle and waited for his friend to catch up. The Gefreiter asked the other man, "Who are we shooting again?" The Feldwebel replied, "That officer with the gold trim and excessive cape", then pointed at the target.
As the men took aim, Maximilian spoke to the Swadian, "Why do we need two people anyway? It's hardly as if-"
"It's just in case, I mean, two snipers mean an almost guaranteed hit. And you never remember who the target is, you imbecile. Just be quiet and shoot already." The two men took aim, held their breath and fired almost at the same time. "Run!" called the Swadian to the Kaiserlicher and ran into the forest where the two men mounted horses and rode away.
A week later, Swadian-Ellisian Frontier, near a major road block.
"Dammit Klaus, what the hell is wrong with this bloody wagon?" the Kaiserlicher asked the wagon driver, who replied, "Max, you are one annoying imbecile. Get used to it, you Kaiserlicking ass." "Shut up Max." intervened the Feldwebel. Under his breath, the Gefreiter uttered, "You're such an annoying person, Willy-" and was whacked over the head by the Feldwebel. When the cart stopped they jumped off and ran over to their horses tied by the inn, where they were met by the Captain in command, and stood to attention. "Well men, think you can take out their commander? Ready?" Wilhelm, the Feldwebel, replied, "Yes sir, we're Jaegers, we're always ready for the hunt!" The captain dismissed them and they untied their horses, mounted and rode away.
They rode over the forest by the right flank and took cover in the woods and tied their horses to the tree. "Who should shoot?" asked Wilhelm. "I should - I can hit a mark at a thousand thousandths of an inch!" replied his companion. "Maximilian, you fool, that's one inch. It's not hard." "It takes skill to shoot something that close!" The Feldwebel put his head in his hands and then said, "Alright, you can shoot, but I'll shoot if you miss." The arrogant Kaiserlicher then replied, "Of course I can hit him! I trained at the Academy of Lorraine -" "Where you shot pigeon?" "... fine, I'll shut up."
They lay down and crawled over to the long grass where Maximilian took aim at the Filaharnist commander, and fired. The bullet span through the air and pierced the commander's second-in-command skin, the bullet smashing into the jugular, blood pouring out, his corpse collapsing on his bay warhorse's mane. "Scheisse Max!" shouted the Feldwebel who put his rifle to his shoulder, quickly aimed at the commander and gave a quick shot, before dragging his companion to his feet and the two men ran to their horses. "Your bloody huge soup-hole Max! You hit the wrong man!"
The Feldwebel's bullet flew through the hot Swadian summer sky and embedded itself in the Filaharnist commander's shoulder, having ripped through the gilded and excessively large pauldron, through his clothing and into the raw meat. He fell off his horse and was taken away by his aides.