Gonna make me some hardtack...

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13 Spider Bloody Chain said:
Huh....maybe it's because it's my first time baking it, but the hardtack's not that great for clubbing women into having sex with me hard. I was expecting something almost inedible, seeing how hardtack's been nicknamed "sheet iron" and "moral dullers", but it's just...very crunchy, nothing more.
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Given that sea biscuit is supposed to be dunked in brine before becoming edible, I suspect you have a baking fail on your hands. That said, look at the bright side of life: if your women believe it to be hard as iron, you can at least impress them with your awesome chewing powers :wink:


 
Hardtack sucks. Imagine biting down on a piece of bread, to discover it has the pliability of a piece of wood, and that after about 2 minutes of biting at it, your teeth ****ing hurt.
 
Well, it's much harder than saltines of course. and the big piece I made requires canines and molars to eat (hurts like a ****er if I try to bite a chunk off with only incisors).
 
Oh alright then.  That's about right.

Remember, use the natural fractures present in the bread.  It takes a while to get a feel for it, but once you get it, you'll never stop eating it.
 
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