Gonna make me some hardtack...

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13 Spider Bloody Chain said:
Huh....maybe it's because it's my first time baking it, but the hardtack's not that great for clubbing women into having sex with me hard. I was expecting something almost inedible, seeing how hardtack's been nicknamed "sheet iron" and "moral dullers", but it's just...very crunchy, nothing more.
Given that sea biscuit is supposed to be dunked in brine before becoming edible, I suspect you have a baking fail on your hands. That said, look at the bright side of life: if your women believe it to be hard as iron, you can at least impress them with your awesome chewing powers :wink:


 
Hardtack sucks. Imagine biting down on a piece of bread, to discover it has the pliability of a piece of wood, and that after about 2 minutes of biting at it, your teeth ****ing hurt.
 
Well, it's much harder than saltines of course. and the big piece I made requires canines and molars to eat (hurts like a ****er if I try to bite a chunk off with only incisors).
 
Oh alright then.  That's about right.

Remember, use the natural fractures present in the bread.  It takes a while to get a feel for it, but once you get it, you'll never stop eating it.
 
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