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Author Topic: Amusing similes.  (Read 3194 times)

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Ingolifs

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Amusing similes.
« on: September 04, 2005, 10:39:27 PM »
This is a task i think Rando might like.

Basically, i'm trying to make a list of awesome similes to be used in conversation. For those who don't know, a simile is when you describe something by describing it like or as someting else, i.e. Flying like an eagle.

Here's a couple of mine:

Thrown around like porno in an all boys school bus.

Shaking like a dog shitting glass.


Now you try. Post those that you have made up or have heard elsewhere.
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Sir Prince

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2005, 02:46:19 AM »
Smilies? Those aren't smilies, oh, sImIlies!
As crazy as a drunken vaegir.
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"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
"Gaze upon our well-oiled nipples, Persian dogs, and despair, for they are the last ones you will ever see!" - Darian
"Witcher, is that the game where you run around sleeping with women for their pokemon cards?"  ChurchOfFonz

Rando

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2005, 04:54:31 AM »
Quote from: PrinceScamp
Smilies? Those aren't smilies, oh, sImIlies!
As crazy as a drunken vaegir.


I too ran here like a horny redneck to a family reunion thinking this thread was about posting amusing emoticons. Too bad I was disappointed like a hand-amputated super model after a cheesecake binge.

What makes you think I would like this thread Ingolifs? Unless, I am not understanding like Britany Spears at a 3rd grade science fair. If that is not the case, then this is idea is as weak as Killalot's counter arguments (that last one was a cheap shot, I apologize...just kidding).
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Reverend L. Lamb

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2005, 04:59:33 AM »
X is like a flying yellow brick but exactly the opposite

Edit:typo
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Thy Father, which art in heaven,
hallowed be my name;
my kingdom come;
my will be done,
in earth as it is in heaven.
And punish you your trespasses,
while you forgive them that trespass against you.
For mine is the kingdom,
the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.

Reiel

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2005, 05:02:36 AM »
If you don't got to shit, get out of Lost Lamb's mouth.
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Quetzalcoatl

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2005, 06:42:34 AM »
Loose like a nail in jello
Lost lika a s.o.b. on father´s day
Exposed like a cable man´s butt
High like a commander´s horse
Frustrated like a cockroach upside down
Turned on like a prisioner´s radio
White like a nun´s leg
Upseting, like a gillette on the bathroom floor
Taking longer than a rich man´s funeral
Lost like a deaf in an auction
Useless like a honk on a plane
Crazy like sleeping on the railway
Dirty like a butcher´s phone
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blah.
Sorry for the english guys. It's not my primary language.
=~

slavetrader

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2005, 09:04:49 PM »
busy like Jackson in Disneyland
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Sir Prince

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2005, 09:12:42 PM »
^^ :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  

As cold as pavlov's cats.
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"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
"Gaze upon our well-oiled nipples, Persian dogs, and despair, for they are the last ones you will ever see!" - Darian
"Witcher, is that the game where you run around sleeping with women for their pokemon cards?"  ChurchOfFonz

Rabid Potatoe

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2005, 09:25:39 PM »
As camp as the most haunted live presenter.
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Swearengen

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2005, 12:01:38 AM »
Ugly as a wheelchair
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Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or ******** beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Reverend L. Lamb

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2005, 05:00:16 AM »
Quote from: Maddox
Harder than a priest at a playground
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Thy Father, which art in heaven,
hallowed be my name;
my kingdom come;
my will be done,
in earth as it is in heaven.
And punish you your trespasses,
while you forgive them that trespass against you.
For mine is the kingdom,
the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.

Fluffy The Hamster

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2005, 07:22:59 AM »
Quote from: Lost-Lamb
Quote from: Maddox
Harder than a priest at a playground


HA HAAA HAAAAAAAAAA!
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Worbah

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2005, 02:53:17 PM »
As usefull as a chocolate condom.

This one can't really be translated, but my latin teacher uses it often.

Pyörii kuin puolukka pillussa.
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Let's all drown in semen.

Rando

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2005, 05:44:08 AM »
My brother says this a lot:

As smart as a drawer full of hair.
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Sir Saladin

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2005, 10:29:41 PM »
I may not be as strong as an ox but I'm almost as smart as one.
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