Author Topic: Amusing similes.  (Read 4548 times)

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Ingolifs

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Amusing similes.
« on: September 04, 2005, 10:39:27 PM »
This is a task i think Rando might like.

Basically, i'm trying to make a list of awesome similes to be used in conversation. For those who don't know, a simile is when you describe something by describing it like or as someting else, i.e. Flying like an eagle.

Here's a couple of mine:

Thrown around like porno in an all boys school bus.

Shaking like a dog shitting glass.


Now you try. Post those that you have made up or have heard elsewhere.

Sir Prince

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2005, 02:46:19 AM »
Smilies? Those aren't smilies, oh, sImIlies!
As crazy as a drunken vaegir.
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
"Gaze upon our well-oiled nipples, Persian dogs, and despair, for they are the last ones you will ever see!" - Darian
"Witcher, is that the game where you run around sleeping with women for their pokemon cards?"  ChurchOfFonz

Rando

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2005, 04:54:31 AM »
Quote from: PrinceScamp
Smilies? Those aren't smilies, oh, sImIlies!
As crazy as a drunken vaegir.


I too ran here like a horny redneck to a family reunion thinking this thread was about posting amusing emoticons. Too bad I was disappointed like a hand-amputated super model after a cheesecake binge.

What makes you think I would like this thread Ingolifs? Unless, I am not understanding like Britany Spears at a 3rd grade science fair. If that is not the case, then this is idea is as weak as Killalot's counter arguments (that last one was a cheap shot, I apologize...just kidding).
"How blessed will be the one who grabs your babies and smashes them on a rock!" ~Psalms 137:9

Reverend L. Lamb

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2005, 04:59:33 AM »
X is like a flying yellow brick but exactly the opposite

Edit:typo
'We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected. Don't you?'

'Why?'

'It saves time.'

Reiel

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2005, 05:02:36 AM »
If you don't got to shit, get out of Lost Lamb's mouth.

Quetzalcoatl

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« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2005, 06:42:34 AM »
Loose like a nail in jello
Lost lika a s.o.b. on father´s day
Exposed like a cable man´s butt
High like a commander´s horse
Frustrated like a cockroach upside down
Turned on like a prisioner´s radio
White like a nun´s leg
Upseting, like a gillette on the bathroom floor
Taking longer than a rich man´s funeral
Lost like a deaf in an auction
Useless like a honk on a plane
Crazy like sleeping on the railway
Dirty like a butcher´s phone

blah.
Sorry for the english guys. It's not my primary language.
=~

slavetrader

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2005, 09:04:49 PM »
busy like Jackson in Disneyland
''if you want something done properly, kill Baldrick before you start''

Sir Prince

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2005, 09:12:42 PM »
^^ :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  

As cold as pavlov's cats.
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
"Gaze upon our well-oiled nipples, Persian dogs, and despair, for they are the last ones you will ever see!" - Darian
"Witcher, is that the game where you run around sleeping with women for their pokemon cards?"  ChurchOfFonz

Rabid Potatoe

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2005, 09:25:39 PM »
As camp as the most haunted live presenter.
Mek tay, not war!

Swearengen

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2005, 12:01:38 AM »
Ugly as a wheelchair
Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or ******** beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

Reverend L. Lamb

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2005, 05:00:16 AM »
Quote from: Maddox
Harder than a priest at a playground
'We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they're elected. Don't you?'

'Why?'

'It saves time.'

Amusing similes.
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2005, 07:22:59 AM »
Quote from: Lost-Lamb
Quote from: Maddox
Harder than a priest at a playground


HA HAAA HAAAAAAAAAA!
Quote!: "Hello, one of possible HIV infection."

Worbah

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2005, 02:53:17 PM »
As usefull as a chocolate condom.

This one can't really be translated, but my latin teacher uses it often.

Pyörii kuin puolukka pillussa.
Let's all drown in semen.

Rando

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Amusing similes.
« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2005, 05:44:08 AM »
My brother says this a lot:

As smart as a drawer full of hair.
"How blessed will be the one who grabs your babies and smashes them on a rock!" ~Psalms 137:9

Sir Saladin

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« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2005, 10:29:41 PM »
I may not be as strong as an ox but I'm almost as smart as one.