I recently decided to give up porn indefinitely. And masturbation too until I felt comfortable doing it again.
I strongly believe it’s made me a better person in a lot of ways.
I don’t blame people for wanting to watch other people do naughty stuff, I won’t even go so far as to say wether it’s unhealthy or not. But I discovered that for me, giving up porn was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I’ve spoilered the following as some might find it boring to read about me.
When I was 20 I discovered that a lot of people had a problem with porn, and some people try to limit or give up their porn habits completely. It made me want to try it. I actually noticed rather immediate improvement in my outlook on life. I didn’t feel ashamed of myself anymore.
For the next couple of years, I tried on and off to quit porn. Every time I noticed positive changes. But then I’d just go for a single peek, say I’d open the tit or arse thread on TW, and that would result in a weeks-long binge every time.
Now I’ve decided to quit again, I’m getting close to two weeks and feel great. I’m not saying quitting porn will change your life, or that it’ll cure your depression. I am saying that it’s worth trying, it’s helped me and it’s helped other people as well. Once you get through the first few days it's not so bad. Whenever you get aroused, just repress the impulse to masturbate. If you suddenly remember a specific scene, pornstar or something like that (I often do) and want to have just a little look, don't.
Further reading, watching, stuff:
Reddit.com/nofap
Rather bizzare community of people («fapstronauts») who are all trying to give up porn, masturbation, for some all sexual stimulation. Full of acronyms and jargon, cult-like in its outlook. What I found nice about this page is that you can get a badge that says how long you’ve held out without PMO (which is nofapese for porn, masturbation and orgasm. It can also be a verb). People there often talk about «superpowers» gained through abstaining from PMO. If that sounds ridiculous to you I fully understand, but there might actually be some truth in it.
Gary Wilson
I don’t know how many of you have already watching that, but I think it makes some interesting points about porn’s accessibility and possible effects on people growing up today. It’s worth a watch. He also has a book and a website with testimonies from people who quit porn. Not all researchers agree with this guy, I’ve seen his book and research be called unscientific many times. I haven’t read his book, and I don’t plan to. But I find his theories interesting nonetheless. It's worth trying and if it doesn't work for you, no real loss.
here is a Vice article on his book and theories: http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/you-can-fap-or-****-but-not-both-842
This is a study about two African tribes in which masturbation was so uncommon that researchers had to show them how in order to collect semen samples: http://jambo.africa.kyoto-u.ac.jp/kiroku/asm_normal/abstracts/pdf/31-3/107-125.pdf
Here are some of the personal developments that I’ve felt recently, that may or may not be correlated with quitting porn. I say that because I have no idea myself, but I could see there being some correlation.
- I feel more comfortable talking to people and looking them in the eye (especially women), I have a firmer voice and sound more sure of myself.
- I walk around with my head held up high and my back straight, I smile at people and I’m never afraid of meeting strangers.
- I am more comfortable than before with speaking in front of crowds and just being in a crowd in general.
- I am more motivated to get things done, I do the things I need to do as soon as I can and I don’t long for just staying home and playing video games.
- I don’t jump to conclusions when somebody looks at me funny or when I notice someone disliking me. You can’t be popular with everyone.
- I don’t feel ashamed thinking about women in a sexual way and I can ask someone I like out for a coffee or beer (almost) without getting nervous.
So... yeah.
I strongly believe it’s made me a better person in a lot of ways.
I don’t blame people for wanting to watch other people do naughty stuff, I won’t even go so far as to say wether it’s unhealthy or not. But I discovered that for me, giving up porn was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I’ve spoilered the following as some might find it boring to read about me.
I started watching porn when I was about twelve I think, not long after I discovered masturbation. After that porn became an essential part of masturbating for me. I’d sneak downstairs after midnight to watch the adult channel at first, then it really took off when we got a computer and broadband.
I’d watch porn even when there was a risk of being discovered. I remember once when my sister was right outside the door talking to some friends. I was watching porn and masturbating. I masturbated all the time, which I guess is normal for teenagers. But it became a crutch, because it felt good and was easy to do.
I obsessed over specific pornstars, specific scenes and specific sex acts. I never had much success with girls though, I think because I creeped them out or because I was too busy watching porn to notice when someone was interested in me. And it might have raised my standards to rather ridiculous levels.
It gave me a sense of entitlement when it came to sex, and it was always there even when I knew it was wrong. I felt miserable when I was one of the last guys to have sex. I think I also scared away my first girlfriend by how pushy I was. I could also never finish inside her, and that problem has persisted to some extent until now.
I recently discovered some old family photos, and I noticed how I never smiled in those pictures. I always looked sullen and hunched down, like I had something to be ashamed of. That was both depressing and thought-provoking. Why was I so miserable all the time? When I talked to my mom about it, she said that I'd never been like that as a child. It couldn't be just the usual hormones and teenage shenanigans. It continued into early adulthood and I think it might still not be completely over.
I’d watch porn even when there was a risk of being discovered. I remember once when my sister was right outside the door talking to some friends. I was watching porn and masturbating. I masturbated all the time, which I guess is normal for teenagers. But it became a crutch, because it felt good and was easy to do.
I obsessed over specific pornstars, specific scenes and specific sex acts. I never had much success with girls though, I think because I creeped them out or because I was too busy watching porn to notice when someone was interested in me. And it might have raised my standards to rather ridiculous levels.
It gave me a sense of entitlement when it came to sex, and it was always there even when I knew it was wrong. I felt miserable when I was one of the last guys to have sex. I think I also scared away my first girlfriend by how pushy I was. I could also never finish inside her, and that problem has persisted to some extent until now.
I recently discovered some old family photos, and I noticed how I never smiled in those pictures. I always looked sullen and hunched down, like I had something to be ashamed of. That was both depressing and thought-provoking. Why was I so miserable all the time? When I talked to my mom about it, she said that I'd never been like that as a child. It couldn't be just the usual hormones and teenage shenanigans. It continued into early adulthood and I think it might still not be completely over.
When I was 20 I discovered that a lot of people had a problem with porn, and some people try to limit or give up their porn habits completely. It made me want to try it. I actually noticed rather immediate improvement in my outlook on life. I didn’t feel ashamed of myself anymore.
For the next couple of years, I tried on and off to quit porn. Every time I noticed positive changes. But then I’d just go for a single peek, say I’d open the tit or arse thread on TW, and that would result in a weeks-long binge every time.
Now I’ve decided to quit again, I’m getting close to two weeks and feel great. I’m not saying quitting porn will change your life, or that it’ll cure your depression. I am saying that it’s worth trying, it’s helped me and it’s helped other people as well. Once you get through the first few days it's not so bad. Whenever you get aroused, just repress the impulse to masturbate. If you suddenly remember a specific scene, pornstar or something like that (I often do) and want to have just a little look, don't.
Further reading, watching, stuff:
Reddit.com/nofap
Rather bizzare community of people («fapstronauts») who are all trying to give up porn, masturbation, for some all sexual stimulation. Full of acronyms and jargon, cult-like in its outlook. What I found nice about this page is that you can get a badge that says how long you’ve held out without PMO (which is nofapese for porn, masturbation and orgasm. It can also be a verb). People there often talk about «superpowers» gained through abstaining from PMO. If that sounds ridiculous to you I fully understand, but there might actually be some truth in it.
Gary Wilson
I don’t know how many of you have already watching that, but I think it makes some interesting points about porn’s accessibility and possible effects on people growing up today. It’s worth a watch. He also has a book and a website with testimonies from people who quit porn. Not all researchers agree with this guy, I’ve seen his book and research be called unscientific many times. I haven’t read his book, and I don’t plan to. But I find his theories interesting nonetheless. It's worth trying and if it doesn't work for you, no real loss.
here is a Vice article on his book and theories: http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/you-can-fap-or-****-but-not-both-842
This is a study about two African tribes in which masturbation was so uncommon that researchers had to show them how in order to collect semen samples: http://jambo.africa.kyoto-u.ac.jp/kiroku/asm_normal/abstracts/pdf/31-3/107-125.pdf
Here are some of the personal developments that I’ve felt recently, that may or may not be correlated with quitting porn. I say that because I have no idea myself, but I could see there being some correlation.
- I feel more comfortable talking to people and looking them in the eye (especially women), I have a firmer voice and sound more sure of myself.
- I walk around with my head held up high and my back straight, I smile at people and I’m never afraid of meeting strangers.
- I am more comfortable than before with speaking in front of crowds and just being in a crowd in general.
- I am more motivated to get things done, I do the things I need to do as soon as I can and I don’t long for just staying home and playing video games.
- I don’t jump to conclusions when somebody looks at me funny or when I notice someone disliking me. You can’t be popular with everyone.
- I don’t feel ashamed thinking about women in a sexual way and I can ask someone I like out for a coffee or beer (almost) without getting nervous.
So... yeah.
)sex with "normal" looking people. The rest of the effects sound like placebo, to be honest. But whatever works, I guess.
