AAR:Life of Anderhil

                                          INTRODUCTION


The history of Calradia is quite vague. The only people whose lives are described in any detail are monarchs, claimants and heroes. However, it is implied that the Factions have been at war for a very long time, and only one person is able to reunite ancient Calrad Empire

Ruler of kingdom of Swadia is King Harlaus, and claimant is Lady Isolla of Suno
Ruler of kingdom of Rhodoks is King Graveth, and claimant is Lord Kastor of Veluca
Ruler of kingdom of Vaegir is King Yarolgek, and claimant is Prince Valdym the Bastard
Ruler of kingdom of Nord is King Ragnar, and claimant is Lethwin Far-Seeker
Ruler of Khergit khanate is Sanjar khan, and claimant is Dustum khan
Ruler of Sarranid sultanute is Sultan Hakim, and claimant is Arwa the Pearled One




                                              Life of Anderhil



By : Anderhil
a Serbian writer

                    CHAPTER 1: RESCUING A MERCHANT'S BROTHER




My name is Anderhil . I'm son of the village elder of Ruldi , a small and poor village in kingdom of Rhodoks. My dream is to become king and reunite ancient Calrad Empire. On 22th March i reached the age of 20 , and travelled to Jelkala, a capital of kingdom of Rhodoks. I arrived at dusk, streets were empty, unitl i heard voice. ''There you are!'' . That was voice of my old friend Tjahn. He took his sword and attacked me, but i was fast and successful in defending myself.

Anderhil: Tjahn, what are you doing?
Tjahn: Sorry Anderhil , but i have to kill you!
Anderhil:But, why?
Tjahn:Because I will get 50 denars if I kill you!
Anderhil:I cannot believe!

I knocked him to the ground, and stabbed sword in his neck, killing him. That was my first kill.

Anderhil:Sorry Tjahn, but i had to do this!





Then strange man came to me. I asked him:

Anderhil: Who are you ?
Man: I'll tell you later. Quickly come with me!
Andehil: Why?
Man: Just come! Guards are coming!





I had no choice because guards were really coming. I left to his place
Anderhil: Now tell me ! Who are you and why did you saved me?
Tempar: My name is Tempar . I'm local merchant of Jelkala. I saved you because
I need you to do me a favor!
Anderhil: What do you need?
Tempar: First , go to nearest villages and recruit some peasants. Then come to me.
Here take this 100 denars.
Anderhil:I will do as you wish, but when i return , you will tell me everything!
Tempar:Yes, of course.




I left to Ruldi and recruited few men and returned to Jelkala. There i met merchant again.





Tempar: I see you have your men. Nicely done. Now listen closely . My brother is kidnapped by band of robbers. There is few of them waiting for ransom just out of city . You should go and kill them. But spare life of their leader, because he knows location of the hideout.
Anderhil:I will do it!
I founded robbers and crushed them easily



Robber: Ah! Spare my life, sir please! I beg you!
Anderhil:I will forgive you for you crimes and let you live if you swear you will not kill innocent people , and if you tell me where is your hideout.
Robber: God bless you , sir . Our hideout is near village of Chelez. There is prisoned merchant's brother. But be careful , there is alot of skilled bandits in hideout.
I returned to Jelkala , and in tavern met merchant again



Tempar: Splendid work . You've found out kidnapper's hideout. Be careful!
Anderhil: I will rescue your brother . You will see!



I sneaked into hideout ,defeated kidnappers and rescued merchant's brother. He was safe and my quest was finished. I returned to Jelkala, and met merchant again



This is invetory of Anderhil

                CHAPTER 2: MAKING A MARK IN THE WORLD



I was talking with the merchant



Tempar: Am I told you that I doubt there is traitor in town?
Anderhil: No you didn't
Tempar: There is high rate that he will let bandits enter in town! At least I think so
Anderhil: I will go and investigate it.



I went to the city walls and saw on the southern city gate that captain allows a strange people
to enter the city. I immediately went to the merchant's house and reported this to him.
Tempar: So captain is allowing them to enter. Did you saw any weapons.
Anderhil: I didn't. That's maybe because  they were wearing cloacks.
Tempar: We will now investigate together.
Anderhil: Yes . Let's go!
We later saw how that people is triying to break into palace.
Anderhil: That are bandits for sure!
Tempar: Or assassins.
Anderhil: Assassins. It looks like they are triying to assassinate king. We must stop them.
I sneaked behind one and took knife, and quietly cuted his throat with knife. Bad for me, one saw me
and said to the others. They attacked me. King heard fighting and come to help me. He called guards.
While fighting I killed one and king and guards killed the others.
King: Thank you my good man, for saving my life
Anderhil: I was just doing my job , you Highness.
Tempar: Let's go to my place Anderhil
Anderhil: I'm coming.
I went to merchant's place
Tempar: You are truly a good fighter. You killed two of them!
Anderhil:Let the all bandits fear the name of Anderhil
Tempar:Yes, yes . Now i have to go to check health of my injured comrades.
Anderhil:Yes, of curse

This is the city of Jelkala



After a cup of tea and nice talk with merchant i left to met king Graveth. We talked about a lot of things
King: So your name is Anderhil. Once again thanks for saving my life.
Anderhil: That was nothing, my Lord. I wish to ask you something.
King: Ask!
Anderhil: Do you have any jobs for me. I need to earn some denars, to survive
in this world.
King: Yes, I have. Some time ago I loaned out a considerable sum of money to count Matheas.
3500 denars, to be precise. He was supposed to pay it back within a month ago, but i haven't
recieved a cooper from him since. That was month ago. If you accept quest you will need to bring me money that count Matheas owes to me.
Anderhil: I accept quest, and don't worry my King . I will bring your money back!
King: Thank you Anderhil! I hope you will!



I left Jelkala and started searching for count Matheas. While I was searching for him I encountered few bands of looters and mountain bandits! After 2 days I finally founded him. He was near village of Dirigsene. I engaged in talk with him
Matheas: What's your name?
Anderhil: My name is Anderhil. At your service, sir!
Matheas: Normally, I cut throaths of independent commoners who are like you! But I'm in good
mood today! Say openly what you need and leave!
Anderhil: Count Matheas. King Graveth sent me for money that you owe to him. 3500 denars to be precise.
Matheas: I don't see why I should give the money back!
Anderhil: But, sir. You have to gave money back!
Matheas: No!
Anderhil: Maybe if I give you a generous gift of 700 denars. Maybe then you will gave back money!
Matheas: A gift of 700 denars. You are thinking smart. Here you are 3500 denars!
Anderhil: Thank you, sir

Seems to rely too heavily on the pictures and not on written explanations. One of the first things I learned about role-playing on any type of forum is that pictures are usually a bad way to explain anything.

I approve of your effort, keep trying!

A couple pointers: So far your story reads like a log of what you have done, there is very little about your character and most of the material is taken directly from the gameplay with no/little personal touch added. There is nothing for anyone to like or dislike about your character and you even took out what little intrigue there was by simply mentioning that the "enemies" will attack the town at midnight instead of "the local watch captain is corrupt due to one huge and ill-advised investment so now he allows bandits to attack people in the streets and take a cut of their profit, would you please help me bring him and his associates down so they can face justice?"

It's fine to stray from the game and I would actually encourage you to do it more. Let's take these "enemies" and work on that. Who are they? What are they after? Who do they work for? How does the merchant know their plans? Are they attacking the whole city or just the merchant and Anderhil at midnight?

I personally think it would be interesting if the tables were turned: instead of the merchant trying to take the watch captian down, what if the watch captain wants to kill the merchant and now Anderhil because he as been seen associating with him? So perhaps these enemies are the watch captain and his bandits come to silence the only person who seems to want to stand up to him. Now how does the merchant know when they want to attack? What if he used to help the captain out but they had a falling out and now want to take each other down? Anything that is stolen needs to be sold to make profit and who better to do that than a merchant? He can take the stolen items out of town and sell them where the people they were stolen from won't find them and know who sold them. So what caused their falling out? Perhaps that doesn't matter and Anderhil is just working for the merchant for the money or perhaps Anderhil is lied to by the merchant.

Now we have something more complex and interesting than the game's mission instead of less interesting. Everything need not be made more convoluted but simply recounting what your character has done in first person is no fun to read. Also, some detail and description of the fighting - similar to what you did for the bandit in the beginning - would be welcomed. Anderhil was attacked by his friend for 50 denars and Anderhil stabbed him in the throat: ouch; I felt that. However, the battle to recover the merchant's brother and the battle with the "enemies" at midnight are described not at all. You can either tell us exactly what happened in the battle (Tempar signaled the charge and we attacked is rival's men. Three of them came at me with clubs and knives. I fought ferociously with them, blocking and counter-attacking until all three lay dead or stunned before me. I looked around for more enemies to fight but before I could help out anywhere else I was struck by a rock and knocked unconscious), embellish the straight truth some (Tempar ran into the street and shouted "up and at 'em boys!" signalling us to attack his rival's men. Three of them came at me with clubs and knives. I fought ferociously with them, ducking, rolling, stabbing out and finally wrestling the last one to the ground after I had mortally wounded his two companions. He had lost his club when I tackled him so we struggled with the one blade between us as I tried to plunge it into his chest. As it looked like I would lose I headbutted him and stabbed him in the heart while he was stunned. Worn out, I stood up only to be knocked unconscious by a rock thrown at my head.) or make it up completely (When Tempar sounded the charge I was busy flirting with some random townswoman so I stood up lazily, gave her a rakish grin as the sounds of battle on the street began to rise and told her that was my cue to get back to work. Her eyes grew large at the thought of my unworried attitude toward deadly violence. Pulling my butcher's knife and short sword out, I could see she was exactly as impressionable as I had hoped. Placing the knife in my teeth, I leapt over the short wall to the street some feet below and jogged off toward the sounds of battle. Hours later, after having lost both my sword and knife and been beaten all about the head and shoulders by a bandit with one leg and a heavy club I found myself back at that same townswoman's house seeking her comfort. I thought I had lost my pursuer but much to my dismay, he found me soaking in her bath; well, he found me soaking in HIS bath, since it turns out they were married.).

TL;DR

More detail, more description, more character personality please.

                    Chapter 3: Quests,quests and just quests



I gave a generous gift of 700 denars to Count Matheas and recieved 3500 denars that Count Matheas owes to king.





I recieved money and went to Jelkala. On my journey to Jelkala , I encountered band of 19 mountain bandits. I defeated them , but 4 of my comrades died. On halfway I ran out of food, but on my luck i arrived to Jelkala for 8 hours and bought bread and dried meat. After my dinner I went to the King's chambers and engaged in talk with him. I gave him money ,and after a short talk he gave me a new quest





My quest objectives were to collect taxes in capital of Rhodox , in the town of Jelkala. My reward for quest was one fifth of collected taxes. After a moment of thinking, I accepted the quest. Before I started collecting i recruited Artimmenaer to my little band.
I started collecting , and after 4 days the total amount of taxes were 6911.






Then i left to palace to meet count Falsevor.
Falsevor: What is your name?
Anderhil: My name is Anderhil. At your service, sir
Falsevor: Nice to meet you Anderhil. What  do you want?
Anderhil: Do you have any quests for me?
Falsevor: Yes , I have. There is villain known as Marlund of Suno. He killed one of my best captains.
Bounty on his head is 300 denars. I need someone to kill him!
Anderhil: I'll do that, my Lord!
Falsevor: Thank you Anderhil!






I started searching for him in villages unitl i found that , he is hiding in village of Glunmar. It tooks me 3 days to came to the village because village is on the west of country. I arrived in village and start asking villagers where is Marlund of Suno hiding. Villagers didn't answered to my questions.
I started searching for him in whole village. After a half hour i founded him in backyard of one house
Anderhil: I'm looking for a lawless villain known as Marlund of Suno.
Marlund: I didn't killed anybody! You got a wrong man!
Anderhil: Then drop your sword. You have nothing to fear. I will ask you neighbours for
other details.
Marlund: You will not ask anybody. DIE DOG!!!!




I was fighting with him. He swinged his sword in left but i dodged it, then he tried to stab me,and i moved to left, and finally i swinged my mace , and hit him in head. He was not dead, just stunned. Villagers were not looking happy, seeing that their neighbours is knocked in backyard. They started  shooting me with stones. I quickly rode my horse and left village.




This is current stats of Anderhil





I left village and started journey to Jelkala. While i was travelling, i spotted a mountain bandit hideout. I sneaked with my men in hideout and attacked them. We charged them. Three bandits attacked me. I took my mace because i wanted to stun them and take as a prisoners and later sell them to ransom broker or to a Ramun, a slave trader. On of bandits stabbed his sword to my left shoulder, but i swinged mace with right hand and knocked him on the ground stunning him. I took sword and killed second one, stabbing sword in his stomach, and with mace stunned the third. Other bandits were defeated by my men!





I returned to the Jelkala , finished the quest that count Falsevor gave to me , and took bounty money. I  went to tavern, and spotted my father , a village elder of Ruldi.
Anderhil: Father! It's so nice to see you!
Father: Anderhil! My son, thanks godness you are here!
Anderhil: Father! What happenned?
Father: Bandits are attacking our village!
Anderhil:WHAT! Why?
Father:I don't know!
Anderhil: I will defend my village for sure! Let's go




On 8th April i rode my horse with father and my little army to the village of Ruldi.
Anderhil: Listen villagers! We must prepare ourselves to defend our village. I have 20 men.
And there is 30 of you. We can win!
Villagers: Yes!!! We can!!!!!!!!
After hour battle was over. We defeated bandits, but with our sacrifices. We lost more than 20 men who were been able to hold weapon and fight brawely. My and hearts of my soldiers and villages were broken. We buried them, showing them the honor!
Anderhil: Rest in peace!
After 2 hours i managed to travel back to Jelkala

                            Chapter 4: My travels on Calradia




I went to the Graveth's chambers. There i met count Rimusk, but it was bad and he doesn't need any service and favors from me, so i left him in peace . Later  then i met with Jelkala's guild master.
Anderhil:Good day! I need to ask you something! Do you have some jobs
for someon like me!
Guild Master:Well then, when you are asking. I need someone to escort a caravan to the city of Dhirim.
I'll give you 142 denars as a reward, if you escort a caravan of course!
It was a very small price since Dhirim was very far away, but I accepted.
I started travelling. It took me total 3 days to get there because caravan was very slow, so i had to wait for them! I haven't encountered any bandits and looters. When I arrived at Dhirim , I got my reward - a small amount of 142 denars. What a misers.