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Oarsman, even if this may not be your style, if you manage to gather enough miles/armiger eques/ritterbruder/homo armatus all together (I had some luck, I admit it, rescuing them as prisoners) the
native tactics 3, f1, f3 works perfectly: just keep an eye on terrain and on the enemy numbers. To soften the enemy forces, try out archers - especially genoese crossbowmen and cymry longbowmen, easily recruitable in Genoa or Britain for 1000 dinars. I repeat that, because I remember I couldn't find some use for them when I commanded a squad of swadian knights back in my glorious days in native
If you wish, you may kill or wound an enemy soldier (and run like hell after) to force the enemy to advance towards your positions. The losses into the ranks of advancing infantry will be high (forcing the enemy formations to stop and regroup). Then you have to make your infantry shieldwall advance and charge your cav from the flanks. Depending on the enemy, a simple 3, f1, f3 may be enough, tough.
Also, keep on gallopping around the chasing enemy (killing the idiots that leave the shieldwall) is dangerous but still effective if you are alone. Short circles around the enemy will force missile troops to grab their melee weapons, which are far less intimidating than arrows, bolts and javs. Hit the crossbows first while they reloading.
Otherwise you may keep an hit and run tactic on the enemy formations, if you don't have enough cav support but you have infantry and archers.
Kill the little fishes and engage armoured enemies only when you are leveled enough (or when they are fighting against your own man, from the back). It is a slow operation to kill them, but if you have gathered enough speed and gave enough strenght to your blow (THIS is a daring operation that exposes you to enemy missile) you should be able to kill a miles in three or four sword attacks. Never charge a spear, stop shortly before the enemy and let him deliver his blow while you slowly flank and hit him.
Talking about
damage: standard sword won't make much damage, I suggest you to get a bastard sword (two handed/one handed), it works well to me - and an axe if you happen to fight on foot. My character is completely chained with a 50-60 helm and I rarely die immediately.