Office Dares

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Office Dares
Thing to keep you occupied at the office while you avoid work !


ONE-POINT DARES

1. Run one lap around the office at top speed

2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head.

6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"

7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

8. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.



THREE-POINTS DARES

1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.



FIVE POINT DARES

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem - (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.


And if that wasn't enough for you - here are some examples of insane acts you can use anywhere...

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Ian :lol:
 
I'm going to actually do these! I'm indispensible (read: I work with people who have a sense of humor)! This'll be great!
 
i just got back from walmart, i have a funny one

in the clothing section hide in the circular clothes rack, when someone comes near say "Hey over here, yea, pick me, im $9.95 and i feel good while your wearing me"

:lol:

Edit: 200 POST BABY! ROCK
 
I can't remember where I found these but they're pretty funny.


POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POOPIE:
The kind where you strain
so much to get it out you practically have a stroke.



GHOST POOPIE:
The kind where you feel the poopie come out but there is no
poopie in the toilet.



CLEAN POOPIE:
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but
there is nothing on the toilet paper.



WET POOPIE:
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels
unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your
underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.



SECOND WAVE POOPIE:
This happens when you're done poopie-ing and
you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to
poopie some more.



LINCOLN LOG POOPIE:
The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid
to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.



GASSEY POOPIE:
It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.




DRINKER POOPIE:
The kind of poopie you have in the morning after a
long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the
bottom of the toilet.



CORN POOPIE:
Self-explanatory.



GEE I WISH I COULD POOPIE POOPIE:
The kind where you want to
poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.



SPINAL TAP POOPIE:
That's when it hurts so badly coming out you'd
swear it was leaving you sideways.



WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump) :
The kind that comes out
of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.



LIQUID POOPIE:
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of
your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.



MEXICAN POOPIE:
It smells so bad your nose burns.



UPPER CLASS POOPIE:
The kind of poopie that doesn't smell.



THE SURPRISE POOPIE:
You're not even at the toilet because you are
sure you're about to fart, but oopsie a poopie.



THE DANGLING POOPIE:
This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even
though you know you are done poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two
will cut it loose.



MULTICOLORED POOPIE:
Just when you are about to flush, you see a
full rainbow of colors in your toilet. What a sight!



LIVING POOPIE:
The kind where you see worms digging around in your
poopie.



BANANA POOPIE:
Yellowish-brown poopie in the shape of a banana.
Almost good enough to peel and eat!



DROPLET POOPIE:
Each poopie is so tiny that you practically can't feel it
coming out. Boy are they cute!



BURNING POOPIE:
What's spicy coming in is spicy going out!



MURPHY'S LAW POOPIE:
You have to go poopie badly when there is no toilet in sight!!!!




THE ROLL-AROUND-THE-BOWL-POOPIE:
Otherwise known as "the Texas Longhorn."
Credit "doo" to none other than Chuckie Abrams.
 
Jamurai said:
I can't remember where I found these but they're pretty funny.


POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POOPIE:
The kind where you strain
so much to get it out you practically have a stroke.



GHOST POOPIE:
The kind where you feel the poopie come out but there is no
poopie in the toilet.



CLEAN POOPIE:
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but
there is nothing on the toilet paper.



WET POOPIE:
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels
unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your
underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.



SECOND WAVE POOPIE:
This happens when you're done poopie-ing and
you've pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize that you have to
poopie some more.



LINCOLN LOG POOPIE:
The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid
to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.



GASSEY POOPIE:
It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling.




DRINKER POOPIE:
The kind of poopie you have in the morning after a
long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the
bottom of the toilet.



CORN POOPIE:
Self-explanatory.



GEE I WISH I COULD POOPIE POOPIE:
The kind where you want to
poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.



SPINAL TAP POOPIE:
That's when it hurts so badly coming out you'd
swear it was leaving you sideways.



WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump) :
The kind that comes out
of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.



LIQUID POOPIE:
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of
your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.



MEXICAN POOPIE:
It smells so bad your nose burns.



UPPER CLASS POOPIE:
The kind of poopie that doesn't smell.



THE SURPRISE POOPIE:
You're not even at the toilet because you are
sure you're about to fart, but oopsie a poopie.



THE DANGLING POOPIE:
This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even
though you know you are done poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two
will cut it loose.



MULTICOLORED POOPIE:
Just when you are about to flush, you see a
full rainbow of colors in your toilet. What a sight!



LIVING POOPIE:
The kind where you see worms digging around in your
poopie.



BANANA POOPIE:
Yellowish-brown poopie in the shape of a banana.
Almost good enough to peel and eat!



DROPLET POOPIE:
Each poopie is so tiny that you practically can't feel it
coming out. Boy are they cute!



BURNING POOPIE:
What's spicy coming in is spicy going out!



MURPHY'S LAW POOPIE:
You have to go poopie badly when there is no toilet in sight!!!!




THE ROLL-AROUND-THE-BOWL-POOPIE:
Otherwise known as "the Texas Longhorn."
Credit "doo" to none other than Chuckie Abrams.

Quoted for disgust.

How old are you?
 
Pharaoh Llandy said:
Sir Gillits said:
Funniest Thing Ever :lol:

T'was nowhere near as funny as the Evil Overlord List!

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

Evil Overlord is funny, but it didn't have me laughing as hard as this did. Merely earned itself a snigger or two. :smile:
 
Anonymous said:
Pharaoh Llandy said:
Sir Gillits said:
Funniest Thing Ever :lol:

T'was nowhere near as funny as the Evil Overlord List!

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

Evil Overlord is funny, but it didn't have me laughing as hard as this did. Merely earned itself a snigger or two. :smile:

Actually, I agree. Overlord was pretty funny, but this had me laughing pretty hard.
 
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